Thoughts from My Mom

I was rooting around in my files and came across this piece my mom wrote after her move to a memory care unit in 2008. Lois died from Alzheimers in 2011. Mom hardly ever wrote anything but this poem still makes me tear up.

Mom and me at my grandparents’ house in Rogers Park, early 1950s

A STORY OF A LOVED ONE—I DON’T REMEMBER

May, 2008

Today was Lois’s first day in her new place.

To welcome you is the most important thing.

We want you to feel happy, not scared.

You trust your family to do the right choices for you.

You are leaving your home behind, for a new journey.

The kids love me, I know. They only want the best for me.

I need a friend to talk to and to be able to laugh with.

I don’t want to be alone or lonely. There are lots of people here.

I think I still have a family. I need to say their names each day.

I don’t want to forget them. Sometimes I think I’m crazy.

I don’t remember as much as I use to, but I feel good.

I know I have friends, but I don’t remember if I see them.

Do I look happy? They tell me I seem to enjoy my new place.

I don’t know if the kids come to see me. I can’t remember.

I know I have fun. Some days I seem to remember little things.

I was told I went to a Baseball game. Did I have fun? Was it the Cubs?

I do like all the people here. Some of them are crazy in a fun way.

The outside is beautiful.  I can’t wait for summer to be over.

I am told I walk around with others in a group.

We go out every week and do things. I guess I have fun.

Everyone seems to be sincere. I feel I can trust them.

I don’t think I have a choice. I do feel safe.

I love to be able to be myself.  I love the new friends I have made.

You sure do need a good sense of humor.

Now I have to stay here, it’s ok – I can get use to this

Just remember to laugh with me, not at me.

If I want to spend time alone, that’s fine.

I just want to watch a good movie once in a while.

That much I do remember.